(Note: This is the answer key for the challenge, "Correct This" at https://mycommunity.ywpvt.org/node/300 )
The underlined areas are the places where grammar mistakes were made.
The Murder of David Duke
“Who was the culprit? Who murdered the man?” the officer asked.
“She did, the woman in the car,” the detective said, throwing a small look over his shoulder to the cruiser.
The woman in question was sitting, calmly, causally in the back of the cruiser as if she was waiting for it to take off so she could do some light grocery shopping before the weekend. The blood staining her hair was steadily dripping onto the carpet of the car.
“Who were her intentions directed at?” the officer asked, keeping his voice low, and his eyes off the woman.
“Him. David Duke,” the detective said, nudging the black bag by their feet with the toe of his loafers. “I can uncover him, if you’d like.”
“God no.” The officer shuddered. “Show me the weapon.”
The detective reached over the body bag. He rustled around for a moment only to pull up the bag containing the man’s severed ring finger.
“Oh god, please, lie that down on the examination table. Show me the weapon!”
“There’s three: a knife, a rock, and a hammer,” the detective said, his arm still shoved behind the body bag.
“Then show me already! You and me will have to stay late if you don't hurry," the officer said. He glanced at the woman. She had started to casually braid the tips of her hair; the officer blinked. He couldn’t help but wonder whether or not she was a red head, or whether all of the blood had started to dye her hair.
The detective finally hauled clear bags in front of the two men.
“Are these all hers’?” the officer asked, leaning down to get a better look at the crimson tools.
“We think they belong to him. His girlfriend said she saw things missing from the garage.”
The officer grunted. “Is that what’s effected her? She’s mad that he’s got a new girlfriend?”
The detective looked at his notes. “According to the girlfriend, a photo the couple with a cross over it was hanged outside of their bedroom window.”
The officer chanced one more look at the woman in the cruiser. She had moved on from her hair to her nails. She was painting them — completely — red.
“So we definitely have enough evidence to bring her to court?”
The detective nudged the body bag that contained David Duke once more. “Because of this? I’d say so.”